Somewhere Between a Backpacker and Smack Rapper

Untitled and Unfinished

“My mother asked what was bothering me/ I told her I’m 22 without a college degree/ I feel like a loser, I feel like I’m useless/ I can’t find the answer, I’m better with excuses/ for why I never finish what I start/ I’ve always said that I’m gonna’  be a star/ but don’t know if I truly fit the part; you’ve got one shot to take, I’m afraid to miss it’s mark/ I used to love to freestyle in the park, but the fact of the matter is that shit gets you nowhere/ not a single dollar in my bank account (fuck it)/ I’m still frontin’ like I don’t care/ I still spend like I have it/ looking at life through the lens of an addict/ in lust with the money in defense of my habits, trying to garner fame from a name I’ve yet to establish/ yet if I profited from potential I’d be paid every time my hand was placed to a pencil/ and pressed to a sheet of loose leaf/ up until now it’s all been a dream like Biggie’s ‘Juicy’/ hoping that you see something that the others missed, cuz’ if nothing happens now I’ll be done with this/ trading in what I love for what I tolerate for no reason other than the almighty dollars sake/ most times it doesn’t even seem like I’m awake, trapped in this nightmare I’m not ever sure that I’ll escape/ facing these harsh realities of a man sacrificing a dream to try to salvage what he can/ understand me/ I’ll love this shit to the death but it will never outweigh my family/ backed into a corner, perched into position with bird’s eye on my mother’s worsening condition/ and as the years have subtracted from her health all doctors can do is add another prescription/ she can’t afford to fill, yet she wakes up every morning still praying to a God that I’m not sure is real…”